Tonight I was being naughty, I felt bad for it. Okay let me vent out. I don't know if I act reasonably or what. Maybe I wasn't just feeling good today and have just wanted to take my rest.
When I was downstairs this afternoon I was thinking of what to cook but I easily get frustrated when I couldn't find the recipe right away. I know they are just sitting somewhere since hubby bought all the recipe for the menus this week. I got irritated when Nicole pouring all the salt out from the can on the floor, took out some of the can soup from the pantry and made me frustrate to not to cook. I just hate to cook when nobody is watching my kid cause for me it is too dangerous while I am cooking then Nicole does something on her own as well. I can't do things both at the same time. It really frustrates me sometimes although I have a very long patience but I'm so worried of my daughter's side whatever happen to her I would he so guilty. I don't know what to do.
So this afternoon Nicole and I went back upstairs and I let her put to sleep so I can go back downstairs to cook but she just keep on playing and messing things up around. I snuggled her so she can go to sleep but instead she is playing with me. I tried to look away from her to other side of the bed but then she would change place as well. Since I was also very tired and I felt comfy in bed I fell asleep. I didn't know Nicole had touched all my jewelries from drawer and scattered them all around. I was really pissed but I couldn't do hurting her cause I'm not like that. I don't wanna hurt her also, I only good enough of murmuring and that's all. I decided not to cook since I was already mad.
Hubby got back home and I know there is no food have served on the table. I came down there he was on the reclining already talking to his friend on the phone, I was pissed again cause his attention should be with me so I could vent out all my frustrations for the day. I just hate somebody would call him and would talk forever. I know I was kinda rude today but I wasn't really feeling good cause I was also very hungry already and don't know what to eat. One most reason is I don't like to cook at all. Makes me mad thinking of what to cook for the day. There are times I love to cook which I don't even want hubby to join me cause I want to enjoy my cooking but today I don't like it. He stopped his conversation with his friend and asking me what do I want, but I was really frowning mad. Asking what's wrong with me. I told him what I felt, what did Nicole do this day. Because I was so mad I just opened the ref to get my food I was starving. Just rice and that dried fish. I ate a little. He told me to change so we can go out and eat anything I want. Huh I was kinda guilty though since I supposed to be the one who serve the food but heck it is too hard to cook while watching my daughter as well. She's always in trouble when I can't watch over her. I changed then brought me to Thai Heip then to Dairy Queen to get some ice cream. We took out the food from the resto. There I was also not liking the food so much since I have eaten already although I didn't eat that much only a little with Nicole. Haaahh! What a confusing night for me. Anyway it makes me feel better afterall I ate what I like and gone out for a while. I guess also been stuck at home which makes me isolated. And also I had my back pain and headache.
On the other side I am happy that it is hubby's day off tomorrow friday. I have to prepare a gift for the baby shower of my friend this coming Saturday and order a cake. Hmm. Hope we can do it all with some other things to do.
I have to say good night to you all guys. Thanks for listening of my frustrations lol! Just venting out! Take care everyone!